41. My father who became a child
42. Four-leaf clover
43. A mysterious magician who changed my thoughts
44. In the restroom…
45. Master piece of pine tree
41. MY FATHER WHO BECAME A CHILD
My dear nephew and niece came to visit my home. One is a girl who likes singing and painting very well, One is a boy who is very naughty and loves soccer and cartoons. It’s been a long time for them to visit my place, so they started to talk about all the stories which happened to them. After a while, my niece went into the room to listen to music, my nephew watched his favorite cartoons on TV with joy. He was so serious that he was immersed in the screen as if no one could bother him. After that program, he played with his toys and soon got tired of it. And then he started to pull on the bottom of my dad’s trousers who was sitting on the sofa. “Grandpa ~~ !! Play hide-and -seek with me! Okay? Grandfather, Pleeeeeeeeease ~~~~~.” He begged. Dad, who was reading the newspaper, finally nodded his head to his grandson’s sincere request. My nephew told his grandfather to keep his eyes closed until he hid himself, while counting slowly from 1 to 10 and then try to find him. I just sat and watched them from the dining room table.
It was so fun watching them try to play hide-and-seek in my small apartment which doesn’t have enough space. My father counted up to 10 loudly and set out to find his grandson. Even though my father could have easily guessed the places where my nephew hid, he searched here and there pretending not to know at all, saying in a loud voice “Where is my sweetie?~ I laughed when I thought of my nephew, who was hiding somewhere and giggling while covering his mouth. My father walked all over the place and went to his room, opened the closet door and finally found his grandson. I was laughing once again with the way my dad acted. He was breathing hard as if it was really hard to find his grandson. My nephew was happy to see his grandfather’s exhausted face with satisfaction.
He laughed loudly. And then my nephew took his grandfather’s hand and went back to the living room, turned on the TV, and started to watch cartoons. Then he told to his grandpa, “Grandpa, have you seen this cartoon? Do you know what it is like?” When my dad said he did not know it, my nephew said in confidence. “I know all the stories! I’ll tell you what they are like!” He began to explain excitedly. My nephew explained in detail while doing a gorgeous gesture with his voice that utilized rhythm and intensity. My dad was very focused on my nephew’s words and responded actively. My nephew seemed to be tired of the long explanation. So, he lied down in the living room and watched TV quietly.
As soon as my nephew turned away and lied down, my father ran to his room quietly.^^ All of these situations were so funny that there was something to be realized. ‘God is like this. God who gives us dimensionally! (treats each of us according to our each levels)” God gives us according to our level. There are many standards in the level of faith, spiritual level, prayer level, personality level, words level. If we are at a lower level, no matter how much God loves us, He just can not give us more than our level A child can only talk and play at a child-level. They can’t understand higher-level conversations and they just have the satisfaction of level-appropriate play.
To have a deeper love with God, we must elevate our own level. We know, see, feel, and treat God according to our levels. So, even though a lot of people love God, their feelings of love are different.
God, who loves us, has no choice but to give love to each at his or her own level. My nephew got satisfied and was happy with his grandfather’s love because his grandpa played together, listened to his explanation. It is like a father who loves his nephew to the best of his level. God gives unchanging love to everyone, the love of God that is wider than the universe is to feel more deeply as we grow. If we are at a low level, even if God gives us deep love, it is difficult for us to understand the love, It is not right for you, but rather difficult, so God can not give you. I thought that if I did not raise my level of treating God, I could only have a low level of love. ‘Challenge of love!’ I have decided to continue to heighten my level and dimension and to challenge the deep and wide love of God.
42. FOUR-LEAF CLOVER
I had a problem which I had to figure out, so I did ‘a conditional prayer for 21 days.’ It’s good to pray, and when I pray setting a certain period of time for the issues which I want to be answered, I’ve experienced many times that God is working more. So, in cases when I have important things that I want to get answers about I would pray for seven days or for 100 days as a longer term. I have never experienced not having my conditional prayers answered, so I prayed with absolute conviction and faith.
It was finally the last day of my 21 days’ of conditional prayer. I was walking toward my home and there were many clover leaves on both sides of the road. I watched as I walked, and I suddenly thought of ‘any four-leaf clover?’ The moment I thought about it, I saw one four-leaf clover out of many clover leaves. Among the abundant clover leaves, the four-leaf clover looked as big as my palm, so it was easy to notice. It’s not easy to find a four-leaf clover even though we squat down to find it checking all through a field of clovers.
I just skimmed the field with the hope of ‘finding a four-leaf clover’ and I found one at the moment I thought of it. As soon as I picked the four-leaf clover I put it in my diary and kept it. I received this good luck charm on the last day of my 21 days of conditional prayer, so I had a good expectation of an answer to my prayer. However… it took over two months for my problem to be solved. I had five chances to solve the problem, but I didn’t accept them out of my unwillingness. This is because I did not want to solve the problem with lower conditions like grade B or C ; I wanted to solve through the excellent condition, grade A. As time went by without solving the issues, my mind was rushed. Whenever I was nervous, I plucked out the ‘Four-Leaf Clover’ that God showed me and consoled my mind. ‘It’s going to be okay! Everything will be alright. I prayed my best, and God showed me the four-leaf clover which symbolizes good-luck.’ I cheered up my heart and prayed even harder.
Eventually, the deadline that could not be delayed came up, then miraculously the issue was resolved. The problem was resolved with the best condition, grade A, without any regrets. I felt so good. For sure praying was not in vain, and God responded as promised. Prayer became a force to keep my heart in any situation, I was inspired to choose the best condition ‘A grade’ instead of not choosing lower conditions.(grade B or grade C) Also, according to the condition of prayer, God showed the revelation of response through the ‘Four-Leaf Clover’ which gave me confidence and faith. And according to that sign, the symbol of the four-leaf clover, I can get ‘luck.’ Unlike the four-leaf clover that I found easily, God knows that the problem can not be solved easily. He showed me in revelation in all things beforehand and gave me strength. The problem was not solved, and in a tantalizing situation, I was able to hold my heart through ‘prayer and revelation,’ I was able to withstand until the moment the best answer came. So I solved the problem well and finally got the symbol of Four- Leaf Clover, ‘Good luck.’ Every time I see the four-leaf clover in my diary, I feel the living God, and I am grateful to God who will always be with me for my entire lifetime.
43. A MYSTERIOUS MAGICIAN WHO CHANGED MY THOUGHTS
I had a conversation with one person. When I moved to a new place, I got to know that person by chance. At first I thought she was very friendly and a good neighbor. However, the more I talked to her the more I thought she was a strange person and I felt bad. I talked a few more times with her since then, and I thought she was really rude. I couldn’t stand her any more so I told her about my uncomfortable mind. And I asked her to refrain from acting in such a manner. I treated her with good manners to the end but my feelings were still bad. I talked to my close friend about this situation and expressed my heart. She sympathized and comforted me, and said, “Let’s forget it because there are various people!”
I replied that I understood, but I was constantly distressed by the way the neighbor had talked and her disrespectful behavior. No matter how hard I tried to console myself and talked to my friend, I was still distressed. And I was worried that there would be another such person in my new living environment, where it’s absolutely new without any familiar faces. However, this place has an environment where I’ve wanted to live since the past, so I did not want to have my feelings ruined by someone. There is a large mountain spread out in the front view of the living room, with a small pond ahead of the house. The air is so good because it is a quiet place with not many cars around. I was really happy when I came to this place because I’d always stayed in a polluted city. I was upset because I felt depressed due to the discomfort caused by my new neighbor. I tried to use all kinds of methods to forget it, but I did not resolve it. I relied on time, but it was useless. I kept thinking about it while I was still working, and my head was full of black smoke.
I was deeply troubled at how I could escape from this bitterness. This is a ‘matter of thoughts,’ and the only one who can rule over ideas that cannot be ruled by oneself is the Lord my God. I immediately closed my eyes and prayed to God in detail about the circumstances at that time. I prayed earnestly that the evil thoughts that tormented me would disappear and no longer remind me. When I prayed, a miracle really happened! Suddenly, the ‘bitterness’ disappeared. God had destroyed the monstrous ‘bitterness’ that kept remaining in my head.
When I live my life, I often suffer because of things I try not to think about. People are trying to forget their bitterness with alcohol, tobacco, various amusements, and many other ways such as by meeting people or sleeping. However, there are many times when we cannot escape from the bitterness by any means and still suffer. They often say “Even though it is my heart, why can’t I control it with my mind?” We can’t even name all those sufferings we’re having. In those cases, we can pray to God to close ‘the door of thoughts which give us suffering.’ Pray that you will cut off and block bad thoughts to prevent distress. Then God who controls the mind, the thought and the brain hears and answers our prayers. Mysteriously the thoughts that bother our minds will move away immediately.
I was treated by God and was no longer troubled by it. ‘Peace’ came to my mind and thoughts. God is also the master of ‘peace’ and He is an omnipotent magician who cares about our thoughts and mind. I have decided that if I do something bad in the future, I will pray God to get rid of it immediately. I really appreciate how much blessing it is to rely on God, ho governs ‘thoughts,’ for my life.
44. IN THE RESTROOM
I walked around a shopping center where there were many shops on both sides, and went to the restroom for a while. There were only two toilet stalls in the small restroom, and I was standing in line waiting at the door. I waited for a long time and both of them did not come out, so I was bored. Eventually a woman came out. I saw that young woman was in her mid-twenties. She was so pretty that I was amazed at once by her beauty. By the way, as she went past me and entered the bathroom, I frowned. It was because of the smell that stung my nose. That was the ~ smell of ~ dung!!! It was a terrible smell that I could not really imagine. No matter how much I tried to understand that the smell of poop can’t be so sweet, it was really awful. However, I’d just got in there and couldn’t go back out. It seemed that I was trapped in that smell.
At the moment, I imagined the face of the pretty woman with grumbling ‘What the hell did she eat? Constipation? It’s really too bad, terrible!’ I started to get angry at the woman who gave me this pain. Then, I calmed myself thinking, ‘Oh, right. Here is the restroom! It can be possible in a toilet. There’s no other way.’ When I left the bathroom and sat on a bench, it just continued to smell like that around me. After shopping, I felt hungry and it was time for lunch, but I could not have it. At that moment, in front of the bench, she passed me again. After finishing her work in the bathroom, she might have changed her makeup.
However, to me who sucked up all of her stench, she didn’t look pretty at all. I had been sitting on the bench for a while and I had been clearing the smell of memories. At that moment, one realization came to me. ‘No matter how beautiful we are, if we stink the ‘smell of sin,’ God will not consider us beauties. There are so many people that have nice outside appearances. But otherwise, in their minds and spirits they stink with the ‘smell of sin.’ The words “Sins are like excrement.“ is true. Even if I decorate myself beautifully, if I let myself have the ‘stench of sin,’ God and the Lord know it and they have no choice but to stay away from me. ‘Sin’ is really dirty, smelly and hateful!!’
Thousands of people live sinning daily, and ‘sin’ is not seen in people‘s eyes. So, there are not many people who seriously think about their sins and live in deep consciousness. Even those who believe in God do not often repent of their sins with sincere hearts. Even those who repent cannot repent deeply because they do not know what sins really are. All the sins of the heart, thoughts, and deeds are piled up as ‘feces.’ If we cannot get rid of them, eventually we fall into ‘hell’ with ‘judgment.’
If we do not repent of our sins, we will spiritually smell the ‘stench of sin.’ As I felt more figuratively through this situation, I decided to become a true ‘beauty of the spirit’ that brings out the ‘scent of righteousness.’
45. MASTER PIECE OF PINE TREE
I was on a bus heading somewhere. Outside the window, I saw the scenery of a new city with well-arranged roads and dense apartments. The sky was clear for a change, and the warmth of spring seeping through the window made me feel good. Then the bus stopped for a while because of the red light, and my gaze fell upon on place. A peculiar sight caught my attention. It was a pine tree that was crooked in a strange way. The pine tree with a bent body stood out among the many pine trees that were upright and straight along the road. It almost seemed like its face would touch the floor. It felt like this weary but enduring pine tree was speaking to me quietly, “You should be like me.~~” It was a sincere, deep voice. I kept looking at that pine tree while the bus stood still, waiting for the signal to change. I involuntarily told the pine tree, ‘You are a work of art! Wonderful.’ The bus started moving again, I kept looking back at the pine tree and I reflected upon myself.
To be honest, the past several months have been difficult for me, both physically and mentally. Circumstances caused me to leave my new home and move to an unfamiliar place in just a few months’ time. The process was difficult while I was also exhausted from life and religious problems. Furthermore, there was a situation where I was disappointed with people whom I had trusted and this made me very confused. Even though I knew that prayer was needed more than ever in those situations, I could not find the strength to pray and sank to the floor. I was also disappointed in myself because I could not do many things for God and was simply breathing. You would expect my mind to be firm like a boulder after a few decades of faith, but my fickle self made me very worried and concerned. In short, I was experiencing a ‘crisis of faith.’ My mind was like a muddy mess. It felt like God was trying to tell me something through that pine tree.
I thought, ‘What could that pine tree possibly have gone through to being in such a state while the other trees are perfectly normal? However, even though it looks perilous, it will never die because of its thick roots under the ground!’ And this made me wonder what were the roots that supported my mind. As someone who has drawn Heaven and Hell countless times while knowing and feeling the spiritual world more than anybody else, I feel that the most important problem of life is the ‘problem of eternal life.’ However, many people are unable to solve the problem of eternal life. And going further, they are unable to fundamentally solve the problems of their lives. The reason is because they do not fully understand God and do not live by the Lord’s Word. I wish to spread to all the world the Lord’s teaching that opened my eyes when I was ignorant, And through this, I sincerely hope that people will also open their eyes to the existence of their soul and the spiritual world. I believe that the reason that I was born into this world was to help carry out God’s Will. This thought was the firm root that allowed me to endure whenever my mind was about to crumble. Recalling this suddenly gave me strength and made me think, “Yes, even if there is wind and rain, as long as my roots do not die and remain strong, I can keep going! I have my love for God and an earnest desire to carry out His Will within me. If my mind that is like sturdy roots does not die, I will become a wonderful art piece of life like that pine tree.”
Outside the window, hundreds of pine trees that looked identical flashed by. As expected, no matter how hard I looked, I could not find another pine tree like that rare one. Like that ‘Masterpiece pine tree’ amongst the many pine trees, I promised that I would also become a ‘Masterpiece of life’ amongst the countless lives around me.